By Jemine P.
Wow! I don’t even know how to being! These past five days has been so so full of teachings and prayer and worship and the Holy Spirit! I have really begun my relationship with God this week! It was as if for the last 16 years of my life, I have tried to live my life for my idols of media, videos, movies, and also tried to live my life for God at the same time. How foolish and sinful of me! I finally realize the power of renouncing evil spirits, lies, fears of the enemy, and my sins! I took the freedom in worship workshop with Angus and Uncle Rocky, and it was through Rocky’s genuine love and joy of being a free child of God that I discovered God’s might, his glory and power, the true power and depth of love of Jesus dying on the cross, the desire and to have constant dialogue with the Holy Spirit humility and the truth behind having freedom.
Freedom comes only when you have finally been released from all the chains and bondages of your own sin, the enemies evil spirits, your fears and lies you believe in. Only when you truly believe and receive god’s complete power and might and sovereignty over your measly fears and doing will you allow God to enter your life, break and conquer your greatest sins and the evil spirits and finally be completely free, unbounded, to worship our Mighty, all powerful Lord of everything, loving merciful God and Father. I really struggle with my pride, fear of man, and insecurities and idols when I worship. I constantly look around to see how everyone else is reacting and how they are worshipping, and from there I decide how I am going to worship. I know now that I must confess all my sins in fear of man more than God and of conforming to the world, before I can finally see only God, no one else, only God, and with true freedom with no bondages worship my God who loves me a foolishly incredulous amazing is he? How unthinkable and precious is his never-ending love and mercy for us his children. I struggle to understand his love and so I subconsciously just treat him with casualness, but I no longer want to be like that, so forgetful and unwilling to reach out to him in response to his love, his great great love.
Yesterday on Saturday, Angus led us into a time where we just found a person of the same gender and hugged them for a really, really long time while Angus spoke and declared and described to us how much God loved us. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. Can’t you see? He loves you. He has stepped down from his throne in heaven and come down to earth, found you in this room and is now hugging you, enveloping you in his arms. He loves you. He loves you. It was so powerful. Anytime I feel unaffected from God’s love, I want to remember this. Amen God!
I also found that I actually struggle a lot with idolatry. At first, I thought I was good, that I had renounced the media and dramas and celebrities, but as I was worshipping I felt blocked one day, and even though I felt like I was worshipping with all I had, God, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had actually only demoted my idols. I had, yes, put God in first place, but my other idols were still there in my heart, taking up second and third place. God you are a jealous God! You will not share with other idols. People fight for places. This fight to be first and some end up second or third. God does not do those kinds of fights. He demands that he bet he only God there, with nothing else fighting to God in our hearts. So now, I must be careful that I do not let anything come near my heart dedicated to God. Yes I can care and love, but I will not idolize anything else but God. I just lead a holy life, complete for Jesus and no one else. That is why it is so important to do TWA and FOTA everyday, so that these things don’t ever seep back in. Be on Guard. Be alert. And be free in knowing our God. Also, probably the biggest thing is that I have really received the Holy Spirit. During intercession, and really everything, it all told me to keep constant dialogue with the Holy Spirit, so that I could intercede, could prophesy, and could have a relationship with God. Really, I may forget everything I have learned here this week but I will never lose the Holy Spirit. He is my constant guide, companion, fighter and, you now God. I received him, and now I want to continue our constant dialogue, about everything! Through him I can do all things. Through him.