By Joe C.
This week, I had a lot of breakthroughs in my life. I’ve always struggled with my identity, and felt awkward around others because I wasn’t confident in who I was, There was a hole inside me, a brokenness that couldn’t be sealed, I through that if people praised my name and I got a lot of compliments the hole would be filled. But I was Wrong, in fact, it made me feel even worse and the hole increased. On Thursday, during Freedom in Worship, Angus led a time where we tore off our fake “skin” of lies, from the enemy. During that time, God spoke to me and it was such a powerful moment. I’ve med to get rid of my sickness and false identity before, but this time I really felt that God was tearing off all the lies I was believing in. When the steament ended, I felt free and was ready to be the person God made me to be. But there still was a hole inside me, and even after that prophetic moment I still struggled with hows about what others think. I was really disappointed because I thought I broke through one of my biggest problems. But God had different plans for my breakthrough.
The nest day, we went to Rocky and Beth’s house to have night time FOTA. The night went pretty smooth, and it was a powerful night of prayer and intercession. Then all of the sudden, Uncle Josh hold us that they we were going to do a priestly blessing on us to end the night. I was excited for it when I heard the news, because priestly blessing are usually pretty powerful and meaningful. I started thinking of the things I needed prayer for and come up with this list:
-My brokeness -My shame -My pride -Confidence
I decided to go up to Uncle Rocky because he used to be my VBS leader and he was a spiritual mentor to me. When the person he was praying for left, I quickly got up and went to him. When he saw me, he smiled at me and laid his hands on me. I was getting ready to tell him my prayer requests but he started to pray, The next couple words he said I will never forgot. He told me basically this, “Joe, I love you, I know you, I know you to the point that I know you like the back of my mind. I chose you, I chose you I laydown the gift of prophecy on you. You don’t deserve i t, I know, no one does. But I love you so much that I chose you to carry out the mantle, the mantle of grace, mercy, love and peace Joe, I know that you don’t have confidence , but hold my hand, we can do it together. I’m sending you out, to the ends of the earth, to speak boldly for my name. Walk with me son, walk with me, walk with me. Look at me, look at me, I love you. “
I almost broke into tears after he finished, because even without me saying a word, Rocky knew what I needed prayer for. I was so dumbfounded, I couldn’t even speak for the next hour or so. At night, I reflected on the day, I couldn’t stop saying thank you. Who am I, a worthless sinner, to receive the fullest of God’s love? It didn’t make sense to me, God’s love doesn’t make sense. But after that moment, the hole within me began to heal my brokeness went away, my fears and awkwardness subsided. I’m so thankful to God, I’m so thankful. I’ve been praying about my problem for so long, and God took mr care of it in 10 minutes. God is so good, so good, there are no words to express how good he is.Thank you Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you for speaking to meat this week.Thank you Holy Spirit for residing in this place and inside me.
Thank you God, for your unfailing love.