God’s love covers me, a mom of young kids. God is so incredibly personal when I face the daily duties and challenges of being a mom. I was already feeling exhausted from a rough week, but this pushed me over the edge. My baby actually finished her meal. It doesn’t happen often. So I’ll take it. Then I gave her some plain yogurt mixed with fruit. She started gagging and threw up her whole meal. Sigh… I guess the yogurt was too sour. I could hear my husband’s voice in my head, “It’s better to put less yogurt”. Then I heard my own voice saying a lot of harsh self-talk. “Why can’t I get this right?! Why did I mess up again?” I held my emotions in as I cleaned up the sticky and sour smelling mess.
Later, I went upstairs while my husband watched the kids. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I broke down in tears in the bathroom, alone. Thinking back, it was such a small thing. But too many things were accumulating in my heart. A few minutes later, I heard small feet pounding up the stairs. My son didn’t notice my tears at first, so I didn’t bother hiding it. But for some reason, he started brushing my hair. I thought to myself, “Uh…kinda strange, but OK, I guess…” Then he went away to play.
When it came time for bed, my son and I finished story time and we prayed. I was telling God how discouraged I was feeling. I assumed my son wasn’t paying attention, since he was looking at the picture book and rolling around in bed. But as I praying, my son said to me, “Mommy, God says, ‘I want to heal your broken heart. I love you, even when you make mistakes’.”
God is so incredibly personal and so loving! I couldn’t say anything, just tears. Our Father knows exactly how to encourage and the exact words I needed. He fills me with grace, again and again. Since I was filled up, I could be gracious to my son, who wasn’t tired that night and kept chatting away. I just waited for him to fall asleep, even though it was very late.