I was reviewing the “5 Love Languages” with my spouse and came upon ‘Words of Affirmation.’ I asked, “With all the things I’ve done for church, how come you haven’t once praised me? Encouraged me? Or even as little as acknowledged me?”
The answer was…”You do too much. You’re always on the phone, always on your laptop, always going to meetings.” These weren’t accusatory or resentful words but words of pain.
Then it struck me. I can easily proclaim I’m not a workaholic in the traditional Silicon Valley sense. Instead, I was clever enough to fulfill my personal enjoyment and ambition by replacing it with something where my spouse or kids cannot complain about. Any complaints would be complaining about “God’s work” and be deemed blasphemous.
Work… sexual immorality… alcohol… drugs… gambling… Korean soap operas…put in any vice you want ahead of the suffix “-aholic.” And we can all nod and say, “Phew… that’s not me.” But who would think something as holy and sanctimonious as “church” can be used to drive a wedge into the very relationship it forms.
Praise God for this wake-up call.